She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
