:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
