My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
