So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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