so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
