I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
