Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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