so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
