i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
