How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
accomplished twins. life is a go
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
