I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
