My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He's on the porch naked. Help.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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