well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
