I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We left an ass print on the piano.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
