if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
