Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
