break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
