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oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
