i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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