If i come over, it means nothing
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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