Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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