I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
