I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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