It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
