i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
