Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
