You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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