drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
