Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Pappa wants mamma naked
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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