My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
