Whod you bang
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
