Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize