She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
