i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I have aggressive nipples.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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