If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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