Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
