well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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