Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
