Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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