he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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