Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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