I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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