You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
