So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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