You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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