I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
A bitchslap is in order.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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