WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
