no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
