I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
