I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
