Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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