was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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