I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
