U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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