I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize