how can u be prego again
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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